There are certain sins or habits of foolishness that people tend to grow out of. As a pastor I’ve observed this phenomenon from ministering to people along the entire age spectrum. For instance, I used to be in charge of middle-school boys’ discipline at the Christian school where I served as an administrator. The role was of high demand at that middle school—as you can imagine.
But there was no need for such a role when I taught as a professor at a Bible college and seminary. The reason was obvious: Bible college and seminary students in their twenties who are pursuing theology degrees don’t have the same behavioral issues as middle-school boys. There are certain sinful behaviors that are generally far more unrestrained in the younger sector of society than the older—everything from sexual purity, laziness, inappropriate verbal innuendos, cursing, addiction to entertainment, and much more. It’s no wonder that David cried out in Psalm 25:7, “Do not remember the sins of my youth.”
But there is one vice that I’ve observed that seems to stay with communities regardless of the age demographic. I see it a lot in younger people; I see it just as much with the older. I had to fight it vehemently as a younger believer; I’ve had to continue to fight it twenty-plus years into my Christian walk.
It is the sin of jealousy.
Jealousy is highly destructive to relationships. Proverbs 27:4 warns, “Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?” Whereas wrath and anger are akin to earthquakes and floods, jealousy is akin to a deadly virus that both kills quickly and spreads rapidly and that seems to be resilient to any kind of treatment. As Christians, we not only ought to fight it, but also beware of how it is ignited.
It is important to note from the outset that there is such a thing as righteous jealousy. God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5, 34:14). And just like God is righteously jealous for his glory and for his people, so also we as Christians ought to exhibit such righteous jealousy. Jesus demonstrated it when he overturned the tables (John 2:13-17). Paul said that he exhibited a godly jealousy for the Corinthians that caused him to fear their being lured away from the Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2-4). A husband has every right to exhibit a loving a romantic jealousy toward his wife and vice versa (Numbers 5:14, 30). Godly Christians are jealous Christians in this respect.
Unrighteous Jealousy
But there is such a thing as unrighteous and unwarranted jealousy, and this one is unfortunately far more common. The reason this kind of jealousy needs to be addressed is because the temptation to such jealousy will exist within the Christian community on this side of eternity. God gave us his law to expose sinful jealousy in us. Even Paul admitted that his understanding of God’s law only further unveiled the reality of the sinful jealousy in his own heart and life (Romans 7:7).
Due to regeneration, Christians are new creations living in the old flesh. Christians are people with a renewed spirit that loves God’s ways while living in a body of death that is still prone to sin (Romans 7:25ff). Contrary to what some theologians may have asserted in the past, spiritual maturity doesn’t suspend us from being susceptible to sin and its passions. Rather, Christian maturity results in a greater hatred for sin, a more vehement ambition to mortify it, and a more disciplined commitment to flee from it. And in order to rightly address jealousy, we must understand what tends to ignite it.
This article, then, is addressed to two parties with two purposes.
Two Intended Audiences
First, I’m addressing those who are victims of jealousy. You know who you are. People are jealous of you, and it is obvious. They may not tell you, but they clearly hint at it. The signs are too obvious to ignore. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to shake or wipe that target off of your back. And you may not be able to. Abel couldn’t. Joseph couldn’t. Daniel couldn’t. Moses couldn’t. Jesus didn’t. For you, it’s about first understanding what it is that could’ve ignited such jealousy toward you. The article is for the sake of your clarity.
Second, I’m addressing those who are exhibiting jealousy toward others. You also know who you are. You’re jealous of someone, even though you can’t rightfully accuse that person. In fact, you’ve been actively looking and searching for reasons that could warrant your jealous emotions, but you simply can’t. As a result, you’ve also been trying to gain the support and agreement of others around you to make sure that you’re not the only person who feels the way you do. All the while, your bitter resentment and hatred toward that person are growing. If this is you, this article aims to help you understand your own jealousy and what kindled it. It’s about allowing the Word of God, sharper than a double-edged sword, to surgically open up your heart to reveal the truth about its thoughts and intentions and articulate for you what in fact has ignited your jealousy (see Hebrews 4:12).
Scripture contains many narratives that address the issue of jealousy. There was Cain’s jealousy toward Abel, the Persian commissioners’ jealousy toward Daniel, Saul’s jealousy toward David, and the Pharisees’ jealousy toward Jesus. For this article, I chose to examine what inflamed Joseph’s brothers’ jealousy toward him.
But before that, it is important to understand that such sinful jealousy tends to exhibit itself in the context of peer relationships more than any other relationship. “Peer” can describe more than one thing. Someone can be your peer in age, in family relationships (in this case of Genesis 37, brother to brother), a classmate in school, a colleague in the workplace of a similar job title. A peer can be someone who shares similar demographics as you other than age, be it gender, ethnicity, marital status, or more. But the idea is this: the more common denominators that two people have, the greater the potential for sinful jealousy.
So what tends to ignite sinful jealousy in people? The jealousy of Joseph’s brothers uncovers some key embers that can ignite or reignite the sinful jealousy that resides in all of us. Such jealousy clearly caught fire in those brothers, seen in Genesis 37:11: “His brothers were jealous of him.” What ignited their jealousy? Verses 1-10 give the narrative that explains.
1. Jealousy is Ignited by the Ember of Favoritism
Favoritism can create a wildfire of jealousy. For Joseph’s brothers, it was favoritism and unparalleled love that Joseph received from Jacob that sparked their jealousy. “His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms” (Gen 37:4)
Let’s face it, we won’t be equally loved by those around us in this life. Some people are simply more beloved and liked than others. Sometimes, it’s due to circumstances. In this narrative, it was not because of anything Joseph himself did but rather because he was the son of Jacob’s old age.
Other times, it’s due to the charisma that a person possesses. It may be that the favor is warranted; sometimes, it isn’t. You can argue that Jacob acted sinfully and foolishly in favoring Joseph. Actually, we’re all susceptible to showing favoritism to others. Parents exhibit favoritism. And so do teachers, students, and employers. I haven’t personally met anyone who had a completely impartial heart who didn’t exhibit a natural affinity for particular individuals or types of individuals. Joseph’s brothers grew jealous of Joseph for that very reason. Because of their jealousy, communication ceased and affection died.
It’s very easy to fall into jealousy when someone we know—especially a peer—is more favored than we are. As much as we’d want to think that we don’t live for people’s favor, the truth is that we value it. We value people’s affection. We all like being liked. And when someone comes along who receives more affection than you, it can be an ember that ignites the flame of jealousy.
2. Jealousy is Ignited by the Ember of Superiority
For Joseph’s brothers, it was hearing the report of Joseph’s dream that sparked the passion of jealosy. Joseph had a dream that revealed that he would one day rule over his brothers. They weren’t exactly elated. “Are you actually going to reign over us? Are you really going to rule over us” (Gen 37:8). As a result, “They hated him even more” (v. 8).
Joseph’s brothers couldn’t stand the fact that their younger brother would eventually reign over them. No one wants their younger sibling as their boss. “Why him, and not us?” they must have thought. Should Joseph have revealed the dream to his brothers? Who knows —the Bible is silent on this question. Maybe he should have, because he would eventually gain such a position anyway. Or maybe he should have been more discreet. Again, who knows. But the fact that his brothers couldn’t stand him because he would eventually be given a position of higher authority and, in their minds, a sense of superiority, is consistent with our sinful flesh.
Although we are all created equal in terms of honor, dignity, and value before God, we are not all identically endowed by God with respect to ability, giftedness, and achievement. In any given sphere, some people will simply exhibit superior performances and receive superior promotions. Equal outcome simply isn’t a reality (if it were, the Olympics wouldn’t be so fun to watch!).
When we are confronted by the reality of a peer’s superiority in a given realm, jealous passions in us become susceptible to ignition. I can relay my own experiences here. I can honestly say that I’ve never asked for a promotion in anything. But there have been several instances where I was moved to a higher position of authority both in the ministry and employment contexts. And each time, without a doubt, I noticed that some people distanced themselves from me, became more aloof, and grew more critical of me during those times. Again, the more common denominators, the greater potential.
What Must I Do?
What must you do then? Let me address both parties I addressed earlier.
First, if you are a target of jealousy, there really is nothing you can do to get rid of the target. I once asked a trusted mentor the question of what my responsibility was in this kind of situation. His response was similar: “Jealousy does exist, but there is not a lot you can do about it.” What you can do is be ready for it and its onslaught, and remember that God will be with you throughout this trial just like he was with Joseph. Realize that your suffering will eventually be used for the good (Genesis 50:20), and thus commit to loving those who exhibited it and genuinely extend forgiveness to them as Joseph did to his brothers.
This is no cop-out answer: this is about commitment and resolution. It isn’t easy to do. But your job isn’t to run away from those people or to be apologetic toward them—it is to love and forgive. Remember, because of who you are in Jesus Christ, all things will work together for the good and nothing—including people’s jealousy—will ever be able to “take you down”, for nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:32-39).
If you are the one who is jealous, there is something you do need to do. You need to stop making excuses for your sin and repent. You need to acknowledge that what you are feeling is indeed sinful. You must stop blaming the world and others for your circumstances, and stop hating the person who you are feeling jealous about. You have the responsibility to mortify the sinful jealousy that is within you. Recognize that all that you are and all that you own is a gift of God’s grace (1 Cor 4:6) and that God, in his perfect wisdom, is the one who gives and takes away (Job 1:21)
Remember also that the person who you are jealous of can’t help you with your jealousy, nor is it wise for them to help. Blame no one but yourself, humble yourself before God, mourn over your sin, and repent (James 4:1-10). The Christ who will protect the one you are jealous of is also the Christ who died for your sin of jealousy. He has forgiven you (Col 2:13), and has given you the Spirit to empower you to exhibit a love free of jealousy (Gal 5:22-23).
