I am often asked what parenting books I recommend. The list isn’t long, but The Faithful Parent by Martha Peace and Stuart Scott is certainly on it. Peace and Scott provide readers with a wealth of biblical wisdom and practical advice to help Christian parents raise their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Peace and Scott end the book with a deeply encouraging thirty-day devotional in which they touch briefly on many different aspects of parenting, including the temptation to become bitter or compare your family with other families. They also remind us to cherish our children, cultivate humility as parents, rely constantly on God’s grace, and much more.
Below are a few of the best quotes from the book.
Change Begins with the Parent: “Change must begin with the parent. In Deuteronomy 6:6, God tells parents, “these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.” Our children need to see in our own lives daily what we want to see in theirs. The Lord can give us grace on the spot to refrain from sharp reproof and hurtful words. He can keep growing us so we can be more and more faithful to bring him glory” (8).
Present the Gospel Regularly, Don’t Pressure Your Children to Trust in Christ: “Children should be taught in their early years about God and reverencing him. They should be taught the doctrines particular to salvation. This is not the time to pressure them into any kind of decision to trust the Lord Jesus or their salvation. Instead, the pressure should be placed on the parents and church workers to be faithful to present the whole gospel at these early stages. Teach them diligently about God, man, sin, the law, and salvation, ‘in accordance with the Scriptures'” (1 Cor 15:3) (16).
Teach Your Children about their Need for God’s Grace: “Children need to be taught clearly that there is nothing they can do to take themselves out from under God’s wrath. No matter how good they are or how special they think they are, God’s standard is complete holiness. No matter how hard they try, they cannot be perfect even if they grow up in a Christian home! No matter how sweet they are on the outside, they still have a depraved and selfish heart in need of God’s grace. All children need a Savior to cleanse them from their sin and give them the perfect righteousness of God” (23).
About those Schedules: “Have a schedule but do not worship it. A schedule is a helpful tool. It really helps to have a mother who stays home most of the time….Although it is good to have a schedule, do not sinfully judge other parents who are much more relaxed with their schedule and let their kids nap whenever and wherever….children can be well adjusted and brought up happy in the discipline and instruction of the Lord whether their schedule is ridged or not” (50).
Training Our Children in Good Works: “Parents should express their delight in helping others….Be gracious and thank your child when he does a good deed: ‘Thank you for doing that good deed. It really helped me, and God’s Word, the Bible, says, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks go God the Father through him”‘ (Col 3:17) (67).”
Developing Character Habits: “All parents should teach and work at developing in their children good character habits such as wisdom, hard work, cheerfulness, and kindness. Children trained in these ways are more likely to get along with others as adults than children who are not. Then if the Lord saves them, they truly will be manifesting godly character and not simply good habits” (91).
Teaching our Children to Obey Even When They Don’t Feel Like It: “Another important principle from Scripture is learning to obey whether you feel like it or not. Teach your school-age child that the supreme example of obedience is the Lord Jesus when he faced arrest and the cross. In spite of his soul being ‘very sorrowful, even to death,’ and praying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will (Matt 26:38-39). Children, just like adults, can be wrongly controlled by their emotions. They must be taught to do the right thing whether they feel like it or not” (97).
How Much Freedom for my Teenager? “How much freedom a parent gives a [teenager] has to be balanced by how trustworthy, obedient, and mature of character the child has been in the past. This requires the parent to know his child and exercise wisdom” (110).
Flexibility with Teens: A key element in bringing up teenagers is your relationship with them. ‘If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (Rom 12:18). The teenage years are a revealing time, sort of ‘displaying on what’s on the inside.’ This means that all kinds of fleeting thoughts enter their minds, and sometimes, to the horror of parents, they speak them. Often those thoughts pass on as fast as they came. So, be careful as parents to inquire about the thoughts but don’t take each one too seriously. Remember that this is a time of change from commanding to advising. Therefore, be as flexible as you can about their choices but unbending when it comes to the moral will of God” (112).
Humility as a Parent: “Be humble enough to deal with your own wrongdoing. How ironic to be upset with our children because they won’t humble themselves before God, while we refuse to humble ourselves in confession before him and them. What a mixed message” (187).
Don’t Allow Distance to Form with a Wandering Teenage Child. “Distance is dangerous to your relationship and your witness. If you are not intentional about creating some bridges and fun, it will not be long until all your dealings with your wandering young person are negative. Enjoy baking, shopping, camping, or reading with them. Learn how to play their favorite game. Cheer for the same college or professional sports team. Ride bikes and take up jogging. Make extraordinary effort to go to their games, concerts, or plays. Find something they enjoy (that won’t make you compromise your walk with the Lord) and take the initiative to wholeheartedly join them. Enter into their world” (200).
