In previous articles (here and here), we explained what the fruit of the Spirit is and why it is essential to the spiritual health of our families.
In short, the fruit of the Spirit is the sanctified attitudes and actions produced by the Holy Spirit working in a believer’s life.
The fruit of the Spirit is essential to the spiritual health of our family because it prevents legalism, it embraces our true nature as believers, and it helps us pursue spiritual effectiveness.
As Christians, we should constantly be seeking to grow in the fruit of the Spirit. But how can we do this?
How Can You Cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit?
Going back to Galatians 5 (where the fruit of the Spirit is explained), we see that Paul opens this passage with a command:
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law (Gal 5:16-18)
He says that we need to “walk in the Spirit,” but what does that mean? Scripture uses the metaphor of walking to refer to the daily conduct of our lives. When you walk, you are moving forward in a particular direction one step at a time. In our lives, our lives are moving towards a specific direction one day at a time in how we live.
Paul is saying that we need to daily be walking in the direction of the Holy Spirit. He says if we do that, we won’t be fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. We won’t be walking in the direction of sin if we are walking in the direction of the Holy Spirit. That is really referring to our sanctification; the process of becoming more like Jesus in our lives in words, attitudes, and actions.
So, if we need to walk in the Spirit to grow the fruit of the Spirit, what does that look like practically?
Submitting to God/Yielding to the Holy Spirit
This starts with a heart posture that is submitted to God. It’s a heart that says:
“I am willing to do whatever God’s Word says.”
“I submit to whatever circumstances God brings into my life.”
“I entrust my marriage and my family to God.”
This is really about submitting our lives to the control of the Holy Spirit. Here are some helpful words from Costi Hinn about what it looks like to be filled or controlled by the Holy Spirit:
“To be filled with the Holy Spirit is to be monopolized by Him because your thoughts, desires, and actions are all yielded to Him….Ultimately, we are filled with the Spirit by yielding to God in total surrender, which unleashes the powerful work of the Spirit in our lives in several ways”1
This looks like having a heart that is not seeking its own way, but is seeking God’s way. It’s a heart commitment to follow God’s path in God’s way. This is something that only a Christian can do, because unbelievers are unwilling to relinquish control of their lives to God.
Does this mean we just need to “let go and let God” and there’s no action required on our part? No. We need to take action to be obedient, which we’ll see next. However, this is the necessary heart attitude that everything flows from.
Obedience
We need to actively obey what God’s Word tells us to do. As Jerry Bridges explains,
Though the power for Christlike character comes from Christ, the responsibility for developing and displaying that character is ours.2
In our marriages, that means following the roles that God has outlined for husbands and wives. Husbands need to lovingly and sacrificially lead and wives need to lovingly submit. It means speaking to one another and treating one another in a way that God outlines in Scripture.
It means following God’s pattern for parenting. It means teaching our children about God all the time and requiring obedience. It means disciplining God’s way; through both verbal and physical correction. It means treating and speaking to our children in a Christlike way.
Now at this point – you might be thinking: “Ok – if we’re supposed to be doing things by the power of the Holy Spirit, if I am taking action, does that mean I’m doing things in the flesh?” Great question. This always tripped me up.
How can I be walking in the Spirit if I need to be taking action myself? How do I know the difference between doing things in the Spirit and in my own strength?
In recently studying the fruit of the Spirit, I came across some very helpful analogies. Walking in the Spirit in obedience is similar to the call to repent and believe in salvation. Scripture is clear that salvation is all of God, yet, we are required to repent and believe. Similarly, we are called to submit to the work of the Holy Spirit, yet we are to respond in obedience.
Here are some helpful words from John MacArthur explaining this tension:
The power for Christian living is entirely from the Holy Spirit, just as the power of salvation is entirely in Jesus Christ….Both in the justifying work of Christ and in the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, man’s will is active and commitment is called for.3
There is a tension in this that we can’t fully understand. However, if we start with a heart that is yielded to the Holy Spirit and is mindful of not walking in merely our own strength, we can respond in obedience in a way that is not just in our own strength.
Prayer
Prayer is another necessary element to ensure that we are seeking God’s help to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. If we bathe our obedience in prayer to the Lord, we can seek His help. We can pray for growth in the fruit of the Spirit. We can pray for help fighting the temptations of the flesh. We can pray for growth in particular qualities of the fruit of the Spirit that we are struggling with. For example, as parents, praying for patience is crucially important. Or, as a husband or wife, praying for help in displaying sacrificial love is essential.
Walking with the Lord
Jesus is the ultimate example of all the fruit of the Spirit. He displayed perfect love, joy, peace, etc. The closer we are walking with Jesus, the easier it will be for us to become more like Him. As we study His life and walk with Him, He can serve as our perfect example. It will help us to obey out of love for the Lord and not legalistic duty (like the Pharisees). As Jerry Bridges explains:
“Only a strong personal relationship with the living God can keep such a commitment from becoming oppressive and legalistic.”4
Fighting Sin / Putting Off and Putting On
If we’re yielded to the Holy Spirit, walking with the Lord, and praying for the Holy Spirit’s help, we can fight our sin in the Spirit and not the flesh.
Did you know that you can actually quench the Holy Spirit’s work in your life through sin?
Do not quench the Spirit (1 Thess 5:19).
When we choose to walk in sin, we are quenching the Spirit’s work, like pouring water on a fire. The Holy Spirit will never leave you, but you can diminish His effectiveness in growing you more like Christ.
Did you know that you can grieve the Holy Spirit through sin?
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption (Eph 4:30).
When we choose to walk in sin, we are breaking the Holy Spirit’s heart.
In Galatians 5, we see a great dichotomy. You are either walking in the Spirit or in the remnant of unredeemed flesh.
While we still have a remnant of sin, our sin has been defeated in Christ. We can have victory over sin because Christ cancelled our sin on the cross. We are no longer slaves to sin, so when we sin, we are choosing sin.
Fight sin and pursue righteousness. Put off sin and put on righteousness.
In our marriages, that means fighting selfishness and pursuing self-sacrificial love. Fight lust and pursue sexual satisfaction with your spouse. Fight the world’s view of marriage roles and embrace God’s view of marriage roles.
In parenting, that means fighting anger and pursuing patience. That means fighting laziness and pursuing diligence. Fight your discomfort with biblical discipline and pursue obedience in biblical discipline.
Conclusion
As we have seen, the fruit of the Spirit is the result of the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. Growing in the fruit of the Spirit is absolutely essential to the spiritual health of our families. By submitting to the Holy Spirit and seeking to obey God, we can grow spiritually in ways that will honor God and bless our families.
NOTES
1 Costi Hinn, Knowing the Spirit (Grand Rapids: Zondervan 2023), 96.
2Jerry Bridges, The Fruitful Life: The Overflow of God’s Love Through You (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2006), 17.
3John MacArthur, Galatians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody, 1987), 153.
4Bridges, The Fruitful Life, 41.
