Read the Other Articles in this Series
The Power of Our Words
The Gravity of Our Words
The Difficulty in Controlling Our Words
The Destructive Potential of Our Words
The Hypocrisy of Our Words

Applying the Truth of James 3
This is the final article in an ongoing series concerning James 3 and the speech of a Christian. In this series, we’ve explored the gravity of words and the destructive power of our words when we use them sinfully. As Christians, we have redeemed hearts, so our speech should be consistent with that new nature. True saving faith should result in righteous speech.

Let’s end this series by getting very practical and looking at a few examples of how we should and should not be speaking as believers and what the Bible says about them.

Dishonestly vs. Honestly

• Sinful Ways This Can Manifest Itself:
  • Out and out lying.
  • Shading the truth by leaving key details out.
• What Does the Bible Say About This?
  • Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight. (Prov 12:22)
  • Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. (Eph 4:25)
• How Should We Communicate Instead?
  • Honestly
    • Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips. (Prov 24:26
  • Lovingly
    • Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Eph 4:15-16)

Harshly and Critically vs. Gently and Graciously

• Sinful Ways This Can Manifest Itself:
  • Being overly critical or always finding fault with your spouse or kids.
  • Having perfectionistic standards that are impossible for others to meet.
  • Having a harsh tone or using biting words.
  • Speaking rudely.
• What Does the Bible Say About This?
  • A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov 15:1)
  • Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. (Prov 11:12)
• How Should We Communicate Instead?
  • Gently/Graciously
    • A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Prov 15:4)
    • The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. (Prov 16:23-24)
  • Encouragingly
    • Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. (1 Thess 5:11)

Angrily vs. Patiently  

• Sinful Ways This Can Manifest Itself:
  • Blowing up or yelling.
  • Picking fights with others.
  • Sullenness, withdrawing, or giving the silent treatment.
• What Does the Bible Say About This?
  • “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. (Matt 5:21-22)
  • A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. (Prov 15:18)
• How Should We Communicate Instead?
  • Patiently
    • Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. (Prov 14:29)
    • Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. (Prov 19:11)

Recklessly vs. Thoughtfully

• Sinful Ways This Can Manifest Itself:
  • Being brutally honest or “shooting from the hip”.
  • Not thinking through the consequences of what you’re saying.
• Commentary:
  • I can think of comebacks very quickly. There have been many times over the years where I have just blurted something out without thinking through it and regretted it immediately.
  • Words spoken in a moment of rashness can have an impact for a lifetime. If you’re a newlywed, something thoughtless you say in your first year of marriage can stay with your spouse for the rest of their life.
  • Sometimes people use the phrase “I’m just being honest” as an excuse to speak in an unkind way. Saying something that is true without thinking through how it will impact the other person isn’t being loving. We need to speak the truth in love, not blast people with our unvarnished opinions.
• What Does the Bible Say About This?
  • There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov 12:18)
  • When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. (Prov 10:19)
• How Should We Communicate Instead?
  • Thoughtfully/With Self Control
    • Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. (Prov 13:3)
    • The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. (Proverbs 15:28)
    • Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. (Prov 21:23)

The Gospel and Our Words
Obviously, Scripture has a lot to say about our words. These are just a small handful of examples of how we can misuse our speech and how God wants us to be speaking instead. Each person should evaluate what areas of your speech need to be changed in obedience to God’s Word. For some, maybe it’s swearing. For others, maybe it’s gossiping.

Husbands and wives—how are you speaking to each other in times of conflict?
Parents—how are you speaking to your children, especially when they are getting in trouble?
Teenagers—how are you speaking to your parents, especially when you are getting in trouble? How are you speaking to your siblings?

Regardless of the area, we all have areas of sin with our speech.

This has been a very convicting passage to go through. As I was preparing this, there were multiple recent occasions that came to mind where I was too short with my kids in how I was speaking to them. As believers, we will all fall short. Yet, that is where the good news of the gospel comes into play.

When we sin with our mouths, we know that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. Because Jesus was perfect in how He spoke and how He lived, He could bear God’s wrath for our sins as our substitute. He has paid for all of the times we have sinned or will sin with our mouths.

And we have been given Christ’s righteousness, so that when God looks at our standing before Him, He sees all of the true, kind, gracious, perfect words that Jesus spoke.

By placing our faith in Christ, we have been set free from the bondage of sin. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can speak words that are pleasing to God, not to earn our salvation, but out of loving obedience to our Savior.

If you’ve never placed your faith in Jesus, you are personally responsible for every lie you’ve ever told, every piece of gossip you shared, and every harsh word you’ve spoken to a loved one. I would implore you to place your faith in Jesus. Believe that He was God in human flesh, that He lived a perfect life, and that He died on the cross to take the wrath of God for your sins, and that He rose from the dead. If you place your faith in Jesus, you can be forgiven of your sins. You can receive forgiveness for every careless word you’ve ever spoken. You can receive a new heart and the Holy Spirit who can help you in controlling your speech.